LANSING, Mich. — The coat check at the Iron Smelt Theatre was filled almost exclusively with capes during fantasy metal legends Polarian Amulet show, event…
Sitcom dads typically run the gambit between borderline abusive and trying way too hard to be cool. There seems to be very little middle ground.…
Black Metal Musician Mortified That Coworkers Enjoyed His Music
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local black metal artist Aortic Burst was humiliated yesterday when his coworkers listened to, and subsequently legitimately loved, his music, well-meaning sources…
Every Sigh Album Ranked Worst to Best
Imagine if The Muppets made a metal band. And not like the type of “metal” that your brother-in-law likes. Good metal. METAL metal. And when…
Every Pelican Album Ranked Worst to Best
Flying in from Chicago, Illinois, Pelican are best known for their celestial, dark vibes and heavy, doomy instrumental soundscapes with riffs fit for kings. Unlike…
HOUSTON — Merch guy for the heavy metal band Beast of Damocles Eric Jennie provides an extra service for any customers who want the sleeves…
20 Metal Albums Old Enough To Die for Their Country but Still Can’t Buy a Beer
2004 was a totally normal time where nothing weird ever happened. Donald Trump wasn’t a threat to democracy, Iraq was liberated thanks to America’s heroic…
DETROIT — Little Caesars Arena DJ Richard King is waiting for the perfect moment to play “Welcome to the Jungle” during a Detroit Red Wings…
Ghost Plays Show With Hotel Wastebaskets Over Heads After Luggage Containing Masks Gets Lost at Airport
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Occult rockers Ghost performed their entire show with wastebaskets from a local Marriott on their heads after TSA lost their trademark masks…
Every Death Album Ranked Worst to Best
Death metal is only called death metal because it sounds like the kind of metal Chuck Schuldiner invented (at an age when most of us…
British Broadcasting legend David Attenborough has had a long and illustrious career as the gold standard of documentary narration. There isn’t anyone else on this…
30 Alt Metal Records Turning 30 to Remind You That You Still Owe Columbia House a Crapload of Money
Ask any metal purist and they’ll probably insist that their genre was barely breathing once “Smells Like Teen Spirit” hit the air. The reality, though,…
Every Black Sabbath Album Ranked Worst to Best
You. Yeah, you. You think you’re a badass huh. Well, here’s some news for you Walter Kronkite. You’re not. But you know who is a…
Every Iron Maiden Album Ranked Worst to Best
Formed on Christmas Day 1975, Iron Maiden went through several years of playing a variety of pubs, often with the regulars of said pubs forming…
Every Kylesa Album Ranked Worst to Best
Formed by Laura Dern’s metal clone, Laura Pleasants, Kylesa provided walls of swampy sludge, straight from Savannah, Georgia, right to your ear bones. Joined by…