AMSTERDAM — The life-long dream of American metal band Goat Machine came true last week when they finally […]
metal
ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Metal diehard James Allen used the online tax filing platform TaxSlayer yesterday to “eviscerate, desecrate, […]
Listen here, poser. You think you know this band? Really? What, you started listening to them six weeks […]
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and […]
LOS ANGELES — Metallica’s live concert and online merch booth is now the world’s 32nd largest economy by […]
PHOENIX — Shock rocker Alice Cooper broke ground today on his new Republican-exclusive, goth-themed golf course, “Welcome to […]
LOS ANGELES — Prolific metal guitarist Buckethead finally revealed the origin of his nickname today at a press […]
PITTSBURGH — Grindcore band Visceral Womb will embark on a two-day, 50 city-tour in support of their new […]
In a land decimated by civil war, terrorism, and violence, Syrian musicians have persevered through hell on earth. […]
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Music fans at the Kentucky State Fair were surprised and depressed last week to learn […]
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — EMT student Lindsay Taugida set a record yesterday during a class test in reaching 220 […]
CLEVELAND — Tensions erupted earlier this week when local metal band Six Inch Fetus struggled to determine who […]
CINCINNATI — Metalcore stalwarts Agony of Death are closing in on a band agreement that could lead to […]
I’ve been a Harm’s Way fan since I first discovered the Chicago-based heavy hitters on the Bridge 9 […]
When I heard that doom metal gods Sleep were playing “Dopesmoker” in its entirety on an outdoor stage […]
PITTSBURGH — After blasting through the first 27 songs of their set last night, local grindcore vocalist Alex […]
SAN FRANCISCO — Born-again metalhead Pete Ericson will only listen to Testament albums released before 1992, claiming those […]
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local stoner metal band Soundmurder are making “painful” sacrifices to accommodate a tedious, sober search […]
I’m not much of a computer guy, OK? I work 10-hour days at McSimmon’s Tool & Die six […]
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, ‘When we leave the studio, we have to turn […]
I’m sorry, you don’t like Metallica? I don’t think I understand that statement. You just never got into […]
A good viral video is like a short story. When an underdog rises to the occasion, takes on […]
SAN FRANCISCO — A confused stoner participated in a sleep-study program last week, despite falsely believing the nocturnal […]
RIVERBANK, Calif. — Meshuggah’s latest album The Violent Sleep Of Reason is riddled with hidden Morse code distress […]
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed a new executive order earlier today, banning Foreigner from the United States, White […]
TRONDHEIM, Norway — Norwegian customs officials detained U.S. black metal band VVulfblud during their Scandinavian tour for not […]
BALTIMORE — Promoters of the Dollops of Doom festival canceled the three-day music event at the last minute […]
ORLANDO, Fla. — Part-time Arby’s fry cook Marty Pitts recently asked coworker Clint Kettering if fronting local metal […]
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local black metal band Decapitated Forest tactfully asked recently widowed Jolene Watkins Thursday evening if […]
TAMPA, Fla. — Death-metal band Cannibal Corpse and pop singer Nicki Minaj are working on a surprising collaboration […]
ELGIN, Ill. — Arthur McInerney, lead guitarist for the technical death metal band Magmarok, passed away Thursday following […]
SHREVEPORT, La. — Goat Cadaver frontman and lyricist Jake Reid reportedly hit a wall in his songwriting process […]
SHAMROCK, Texas — The lack of fair use photos of mutilated babies has left local grindcore band Rectal […]
