NEW ORLEANS — Local teenager Sam Carter purchased a fully automatic assault rifle after failing to legally obtain fireworks, sources scared for their life confirmed.…
QUINCY, Mass. – Neighborhood staple Al’s Market won an online poll for “Best Local Sandwich Spot,” despite strong evidence of it being a front for…
PITTSFIELD, Mass. — Sketchies, a newly opened marijuana dispensary, is getting rave reviews by selling weed out of backpacks in their parking lot as a…
BOSTON — Local landlord Viktor Lind used his precious time and resources to add a fresh coat of paint to a dead mouse in the…
BLAINE, Wash. — Local band with at least one felony, Green Stream, will not be playing their scheduled Vancouver and Calgary shows of a current…
Dog breed discrimination has to stop. By the way people talk about pit bulls, you’d think the breed is some kind of ticking time bomb.…
Never let the government tell you what you can and cannot do. That’s what punk rock is for. In fact, I learned everything I know…
TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas — Local college student Jason Manzano expertly danced around the subject of vaccination rollout last week upon returning home on break from…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local crust punk Gabe Cox is tremendously worried that “radical left” gun control policies will result in his favorite accessory, a belt…
RALEIGH, N.C — The recently defunded Raleigh Police Department has left officers with no choice but to cut their diminished stashes of cocaine, saved to…
SEATTLE — Seattle Police Lieutenant Chuck Haines is beginning to worry that his dealer may be tampering with his cocaine, following a rash of well-publicized…