CHICAGO – An ongoing investigation found that, at this very moment, 10 people are looking at your LinkedIn profile and becoming insatiably aroused, multiple sweaty…
The holidays are a time of family, reflection, and raw-doggin’ in the back of the sleigh. And what better mood music to get your nipple…
SILVER SPRING, Md. – Local Boomer Glen Thais created a disturbance at the insurance firm where he is employed after sending an unsolicited dick fax…
It’s getting entirely too hot to be outside and you know what that means: It’s Renaissance Faire season! Baking in a parking lot all day…
NEW YORK — Percussion enthusiast Jeffery Saunders was disturbed to discover his new electronic drum kit let out sounds of sexual excitement each time his…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they are more than likely being…
LOS ANGELES — Local goth Ophelia Hall recently began advocating for harsher prison sentences amid calls for justice reform, especially for the serial killer at…
NEW YORK — Compassionate Queens native Kacey Mora selflessly volunteered her time to help bathe actor and infrequent washer Jake Gyllenhaal, sources close to the…
AVIGNON, FRANCE — A team of archeologists announced Monday the discovery of an array of prehistoric cave paintings in southern France, which they claim provide…