NEWTON, Mass. — Local man Jim Conelly announced today that due to aging out of the St. Patrick’s Day bar scene, he would be spending…
BOSTON — Local pub O’Keeffe’s is reportedly asking patrons if they are ok with consuming Flogging Molly after they lost their ability to provide Dropkick…
PENSACOLA, Fla. — A group of show promoters commissioned Nicole Kidman to appear in a video similar to her infamous AMC ad to spread a…
LOS ANGELES — Netflix horror “Under the Floorboards” features a fully accurate depiction of Verizon’s industry-leading cell service, totally undercutting any suspense the film may…
LOS ANGELES — The 95th Academy Awards is expected to feature intimidating English actress Mia Goth slightly offstage and ready to scream at any winners…
LOS ANGELES — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced that 27-year-old Timothée Chalamet will be honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award at…
CHICAGO – Lonely woman Autumn Jones-Blackburn was reportedly trying to simulate human contact as she pulled her old hoodie out of the dryer and immediately…
Welp, it looks like your wife’s new boyfriend is here to stay. And obviously, as long as Greg’s going to be hanging around your house,…
Jawbreaker is the band that everyone gets into for about three weeks in college while they’re trying to fuck the cool punk girl they sit…
SAN DIEGO — Members of the vegan hardcore band Right Side were reportedly forced to settle for a pescatarian bass player after their hunt for…
LOS ANGELES — A reportedly worn-out Christian Bale only put on a few pounds for an upcoming movie despite his penchant for gaining or losing…
WESTCHASE, Fla. — Self-proclaimed smartypants Ben Shapiro reportedly “flew into a tizzy” and demanded indie folk supergroup boygenius publicly perform in a local Battle of…
This week the Hard Times takes a look at “Electrified Brain,” the latest offering from legendary Richmond thrashers Municipal Waste. At least, we thought we…