NEW YORK — Local woman Pam Carter was reportedly so amped up from another raucous International Women’s Day that she openly carried a tampon down…
SEATTLE, Wash. — Newly sober punk Dustin Patterson swore off alcohol after he experienced his first-ever bowel movement with a single, clean wipe, confirmed sources…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard husk of a body could…
BOSTON – Local beer lover Ryan Kensington fleetingly experienced a sobering thought while in the midst of a bout of heavy drinking, but regrettably had…
It is the time of year again when my company forces all of its employees to congregate in a cramped conference room where they feed…
LOWELL, Mass. — Sober punk Michael McDuff impressed music fans and mental health professionals alike with his ability to listen to Celtic punk band Dropkick…
The Star Trek franchise mostly takes place centuries from now, when humanity has rid itself of its worst instincts, gotten its shit together, and passive-aggressively…
SHEFFIELD, England – Local music fan Dale Morton was physically removed by venue staff from last night’s show after repeatedly screaming requests at ambient musician…