WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump once again stoked fear yesterday by warning U.S. citizens that “Antifa terrorists will hide voter fraud in your children’s Halloween…
WASHINGTON — Researchers have discovered that the origin of the “fake news” phenomenon stretches all the way back to 2002, when your friend Dennis McNulty…
CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since the early/mid-2000s: What defines “real”…
BEDMINSTER, N.J. — President Trump has appointed the once-popular 90s alt-rock band Spin Doctors to lead the country’s coronavirus task force, during an impromptu press…
WASHINGTON — RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel announced today that the fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall advertising from their new exclusive…
WASHINGTON — A broken and sobbing Eric Trump choked down a seventh consecutive can of Goya beans this morning after a week of publicly binging…
RIVERTON, Wyo. — Avid Mass Effect fan Martin Shore plans to opt out of voting in the upcoming 2020 presidential election, citing skepticism that his…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s experimental use of the anti-malarial drug Hydroxychloroquine has transformed the Commander-in-Chief from a boorish, morbidly obese, whiny turd into the suave…
Opinion: The Virus Doesn’t Care What Race You Are, but the Government Does so Some of You Are Fucked
All people must unify now! Dammit, this virus doesn’t care what your race is! It will harm you and your loved ones indiscriminately. The United…
DETROIT — Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden admitted he is considering current president Donald Trump as a potential running mate in his bid for the presidency…
IRVINE,Calif. — Local punk Jenny Stoever is hoping against all hope that her father Ted Stoever’s ardent support of President Trump is just a passing…
WASHINGTON — Robert Mueller frustrated fans and detractors alike by playing the exact same set during an encore performance in front of the House Judiciary…
WASHINGTON — Presidents Donald Trump and Bill Clinton both denied reports today claiming they were backstage at Warped Tour ’97 partying and “checking out the…
This fucking guy. Our so called “president” (aka “45” because I refuse to even say Donald Trump’s name) is a complete fucking idiot that we…