Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
If “Dio” Is Italian for “God” Then Why Won’t These Vatican Pussies Play Some “Holy Diver?”
By Dustin Meadows
I came to Vatican City to pay my respects to the all-time metal God, Ronnie James Dio, and I expected to find like-minded fellow worshipers…
Aging Metal Fan Remembers When Songs Were About Simple Things Like Mounting a Golden Pegasus or Slaying Baphomets
By Tyler Dark
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Aging metal fan Donny Burton went on another tirade last night about the general state of metal, recalling a “better time”…
Metal Album Art Gives Demons Unrealistic Body Expectations
By Rob Steinberg
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues when subjected to the unrealistic…