OLYMPIA, Wash. — Doctors across the country warned new and prospective parents that excessive use of white noise machines might lead infants to start drone…
Meet Alli Welch, a brilliant 33-year-old woman who never thought she wanted kids. That is, until she discovered a secret hack for not having to…
BURKE, Va. – Local tiny baby Liam Darton was sued by Warner Records on behalf of the Red Hot Chili Peppers after a Tik-Tok video…
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Confused members of touring space-metal band Stratizzfear are reportedly still reeling after playing an advertised “all ages” show to just a 91-year-old…
BURBANK, Calif. — Executives at Columbia Pictures ordered the production of two more children from the talented loins of Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke thanks…
Ever since Q provided all free-thinking patriots with irrefutable proof that our country is controlled by a shadow governing cabal of baby eating devil worshipers…
NASHVILLE – Right-wing podcaster Skyler Donelli admitted he is having difficulty choosing a side in the debate over whether a toddler accidentally shooting its mother…
BALTIMORE, Md. — Local showgoers were shocked and dismayed after witnessing punk band, The Baby Hitlers, vanish completely during their performance moments ago, according to…
BERLIN, Wisc. — Local friend Cassie Czerenda was not sure whether to meet Maggie Baumgarter’s news that she’s pregnant with excitement or deep sympathy after…
CHATTANOOGA — Local three-year-old Joseph Rhoades is finally getting some goddamn respect in his household after finding his father’s semi-automatic handgun behind a bookshelf in…
TAUNTON, Mass. — Local maniac and new mother Aidy Simmons is now apparently the foremost expert on health, safety, and almost every other topic now…
Live shows are back, and the next year is going to be a groundbreaking time for music, for real this time! You’re vaxxed, waxed, and…
LOS ANGELES — A Weird Transparent Angel Lady, best known for her work as the cover model on Nirvana’s final studio album “In Utero,” is…