Punk House Giving Out Demo Tapes Instead of Candy

OMAHA, Neb. — Occupants of the punk house known as the Bunker on Burt Street handed out “crucial demo tapes” in lieu of candy on Halloween, according to neighbors and disappointed local children.

Blue-mohawked resident Andrew “Dr. Violence” Gilbert and his roommates agreed trick-or-treaters deserved something more “substantial” than just candy this year.

“I mean, you get a Snickers bar… that lasts a few minutes, and then you forget about it. You get a Dangerous Thought demo tape at 10 years old? That could change your whole life,” said Gilbert, who believes Halloween is “just a corporate fashion show.” “Honestly, I wish someone had done this for me. Without punk music, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

Parents report many children stopped by the house, assuming the colorfully dressed punk rockers and hardcore kids would be handing out sweets but instead received demo tapes from bands such as Authority Sux, Vandalize the Moon, and Death Warrant.

Nicole Simmons, a four-month resident of the Bunker, admitted to some extra convenience in giving out music. “We had these demos just piling up from bands on tour,” she said. “Have you seen how much candy costs? These tapes are just sitting here, so, like, why not inspire the next generation?”

Most Burt Street neighbors were less excited than the Bunker residents.

“We thought that house would really be in the Halloween spirit — it’s got cobwebs and old, moldy jack-o-lanterns on the porch year-round. But they kept calling out kids for how ‘offensive’ their costumes were,” said Avon Smith, a father of two who brought his children to Burt Street. “What’s offensive about dressing as Elsa?”

Related:

“The house next door has full-size Twix bars,” said Avon’s daughter, Venus. “But I was scared to go near the house with the spikey people! My brother says that’s where the Boogey Man lives.”

Maria Constantino, a Burt Street mother-of-three who runs a neighborhood coalition, was outraged when she saw her children’s “treats” from the Bunker.

“They handed my daughter — my beautiful, six-year-old daughter — a tape by a band called ‘Pig F-er,’ and the cover ‘art’ showed a cop engaged in a sexual act with a large, potbelly pig,” Constantino said. “Even worse, the whole demo is really derivative of this other band, Stuffed Full of Shit, who broke up last year. It’s a total rip-off.”

Photo by @_feminem_ and @dogyearsrecords.

Like us on Facebook and keep up with all the latest Hard Times news.

Comments