ITHACA, N.Y. — Local mother Tracy Campbell admitted earlier today to her growing concerns about her tattoo-less daughter’s ability to be a barista in today’s competitive job market, according to sources close to the family.
“In counter service today, you really have to put your best tattoo forward,” Ms. Campbell said. “Veronica has never shown any interest in tattoos, and, as her mother, does it make me worry about her future? Absolutely. Without at least a few stick-and-poke tattoos on her wrist, how will her manager know she’s serious about serving coffee for a living?”
As her daughter’s hunt for steady barista work continues, Ms. Campbell has grown more vocal, but she’s increasingly worried her suggestions are falling on deaf ears. “It’s not like she needs an entire sleeve,” Ms. Campbell added. “But a half-sleeve wouldn’t hurt. If she doesn’t want to commit to that, maybe something small on her neck will help.”
For Hallowed Grounds owner Keith Miller, tattoos are a very important part of the hiring process. Miller insisted the tattoos don’t need to be anything specific, so long as the artist has a large Instagram following and the artwork evokes some sort of significant, complex meaning.
“At the end of the day, as long as the tattoo is where a potential employer or customer can see it, that’s what’s most important,” said Miller. “All we ask is to show a little commitment to your profession.”
Tired of struggling to land work based on merit alone, the would-be barista allegedly met with a tattoo artist recommended by her mother earlier this week. Sources report she put down a deposit after settling on a concept, and is optimistic her choice will give her the experience she needs to advance.
“I’ve always loved Bon Iver, so I’m thinking I’ll get my favorite lyrics across my forearm,” Veronica said.
Unfortunately, upon discovering her daughter’s concept, Tracy Campbell was reportedly horrified.
“Honestly? Text?!” Ms. Campbell said. “Are you fucking kidding me? She might as well just set her resume on fire.”