Frontman Clearly Working out Stand-Up Material Between Songs

SEATTLE – The longtime frontman of Blank Slate kept audiences engaged in between songs with stand-up bits he has long hoped to debut at a comedy open mic. But according to an anonymous source that is his girlfriend, Winter has not worked up the courage to sign up and perform in an actual comedy venue.

“Evan [Winter] has always loved comedy. He keeps me up at night watching Netflix specials and repeating every joke right after the comedian says it. He always talks about wanting to ‘get up’ at this open mic night at a sleazy Thai restaurant by our apartment but then chickens out at the last minute,” Veronica Felts, Winter’s girlfriend who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said backstage. “I figured this show would be enough to get it out of his system, but I’m worried he thinks it’s going over well.”

Typically between song banter is reserved for topics such as brotherhood, being outcasts, and ignorant anti-cop unity speeches that result in physical violence, but Winter used the time to talk about online dating, defecating in the shower, and smart phones.

“So what is the deal with smart phones anyway?” said a visibly shaking Winter through a wavering voice. “I feel like they actually make you dumber, maybe we should call them ‘dumb phones,’ am I right?”

Winter’s band quickly launched into songs after each failed attempt at something that resembled a punch line, often causing Winter to turn around and chastise the group for its impatience.

“Evan sort of started off slow, he was a bit nervous and clearly reading notes that he had written on his hands. Some of the premises seemed like they might be good, but his bit about how white people look when they mosh was a bit hacky,” said show goer and amateur comedy critic Julie Wales.

Related: Frontman Preaches Tolerance on Stage While Expressing Profoundly Racist Views in the Van

Despite not having the best showing Winter remains optimistic about the future.

“Listen, that crowd just didn’t get me. Maybe I just got a bit too real for them and they couldn’t handle it. That sort of stuff happens all the time in comedy,” said Winter while changing his Facebook work history to include “Comedian at comedy.”

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this article misspelled Veronica Felts name, Winter’s girlfriend who spoke on the condition of anonymity, incorrectly. We regret the error.

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Article by The Hard Times Staff @REALpunknews. Photo by Dan Gonyea.

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