DIY Venue Can’t Do Anything Itself

DENVER — The Hell Hole, a DIY venue founded on a gritty, bootstrapping, off-the-grid ethos, has recently fallen into disrepair, as the all-volunteer staff realized their combined knowledge did not include any basic maintenance or management skills.

“HALP! THE HELL HOLE is seeking a plumber, electrician, and local musicians to donate their services to support our local DIY punk venue,” Joshua Khaos frantically typed into his Facebook status box. “The bathroom sink is clogged, and pouring Nair down the drain didn’t help loosen the wad of cat hair like I thought it would.”

The Hell Hole’s landlord reportedly cut the venue a deal on rent, provided that the “collective” keep up with maintenance, a task proving especially difficult for a group whose toolkit contains only a nail file and several chains.

“We really need some help to keep our venue open, and also closed, because the front door fell off the hinges and it’s super heavy!” Khaos said in his post. “New door benefit show is next week btw, $10 at the gaping hole. Anyone have a couple mics and PA system we can borrow?”

“Lights in the bathroom are black lights only so if you have any NORMAL bulbs (efficient preferred) you could donate, that would be rad too. And also, if you could screw them in, that would be great,” the Facebook post continued, using a shrugging emoticon.

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The non-profit’s weekly potluck/rent fundraiser, which regularly draws tens of people, stressed “crowdsourcing” as an effective way to install new drywall in the bathroom and rebuild the venue’s rickety stage.

“Being a DIY venue, for us, means flipping the bird at those big name venues, and screaming ‘we don’t need your help!’ to the establishment,” Khaos said at a recent event. “Unless of course you are an experienced sound engineer, in which case, we desperately need your help, for free.”

At press time, the post had accrued 152 likes and generated absolutely zero commitments to do actual work.

Article by Evan October @Isotopes. Photo by John Phelan.

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