Slutty Steve Albini Tops Most Popular Halloween Costume of 2017

ROCKAWAY, N.J. — A sultry outfit depicting infamous musician and record producer Steve Albini is the most sought-after costume this Halloween season, according to Party City’s latest statistics.

“Honestly, we assumed it’d be Pennywise or Wonder Woman this year,” said Party City CEO James Harrison. “But we can’t keep these Albini costumes on the shelf… meanwhile, our Rick and Morty outfits are just piling up. I guess people really relate to a grumpy demeanor and simple style.”

The outfit is a tight, low-cut Pere Ubu shirt with an unbuttoned oxford; torn, thrift-store jean shorts; round, wire-rim glasses; and a salt-and-pepper flat-top wig. Deluxe editions reportedly come with a battered fedora.

“It’s not just the overt sexiness,” said Alicia Scutti, one of this year’s many Albinis. “It’s about the empowerment from knowing you’re presenting as the producer of the Breeders’ Pod. People are turned on by that.”

Bars around the world have been flooded with Albinis in costume contests. Many contestants are allegedly touting Rapeman singles, carrying mixing boards as props, or holding signs reading, “Fuck Digital!”

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Albini, so far, is displeased by the fad. “This is a new level of corporate greed,” he said. “Party City is a subsidiary of Amscan, the largest distributors of holiday party goods in the world. They hold the entire celebratory market — including, but not limited to: balloons, stationery, gift bags, themed table decor, and costumes. Not to mention, this perpetuates the idolizing of pop culture icons, convincing children that they, themselves, are not special, but must pretend to be some sort of social definition of what a hero might be.”

“What was your question, again?” he later added.

Party City has already announced plans for two additional costumes next year: “Spooky” Phil Spector, and a full-coverage Rick Rubin.

Trade in your Halloween candy for cash and then visit The Hard Times store:

Article by Dan Kozuh @k0zuh.


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