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New Dave Grohl Supergroup to Be Solo Project

SEATTLE — Dave Grohl, the famed drummer, guitarist and musical overachiever, has formed a new supergroup consisting only of himself, industry sources confirmed.

“Dave has finally found the musicians capable of realizing his artistic vision, and every single one just happens to be Dave Grohl,” said Bob Pierson of Geffen Records, who will be releasing Grohl on Grohl, the debut album from the supergroup, GROHL, early next year. “Dave will also handle the album art and lead shipping logistics. We couldn’t be happier to partner with him.”

While the original lineup included members of Rush, Sonic Youth, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, all other musicians were ultimately replaced during recording and development.

“I was so excited to work with Neil Peart — his work with the roto-toms was like watching Baryshnikov do ballet,” said Grohl. “But, in the end, I wanted someone who could really pound the drums with power… like my drumming in Nirvana, for example. Of course, the only person who could really do that was the drummer of Nirvana, and I finally got him.”

Fans had been particularly excited by Red Hot Chili Peppers’ bassist Flea lending his energetic style to the project, but understood the need for changes.

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“Dude, this was going to be the ultimate mashup of the C-Pepps funk and the raw heaviness of the Foos,” said Gavin Clark, a self-described “music snob.” “But when I heard it was going to be all Dave, I was like, ‘That’s chill, too.’”

Thurston Moore, former leader of Sonic Youth and also briefly a member of GROHL, offered cool detachment in response.

“You know, I was just trying to add an element of the avant-garde. Like, what if Glenn Branca played guitar in the Foo Fighters — what would that sound like?” said Moore. “I guess Dave got freaked out when I jammed Kim Gordon’s book under my guitar strings as a mute and screeched out 45 minutes of guitar feedback. I didn’t even see him leave the studio. I got the notice I was fired in a letter on official Dave Grohl letterhead, postmarked with a custom Dave Grohl stamp.”

Coinciding with the release of the new album will be a documentary about its making, Grohl on Grohl on Grohl, which will be filmed, edited, and released only in theaters Grohl built with his bare hands.