Jane Goodall Teaches Rick ta Life to Speak

Jane Goodall, one of the world’s foremost experts on primates, has taught Rick ta Life to speak. According to Goodall, the process took her and a team of primatologists countless hours and years of dedication.

“It’s truly astounding the progress this specimen has made. Statistically speaking, most primates never learn how to speak, let alone ride a horse,” Goodall said.

But despite Rick’s progress, Goodall and her team are still worried about the welfare of their beloved specimen.

“Rick’s habitat is shrinking every year. With the increasing cost of bandwidth, internet memes just don’t have anywhere to go,” Goodall explained.

Inside his high-tech cage, surrounded by a team of scientists dressed in white labs coats dutifully making notes on their clipboards, Rick ta Life spoke out about the cyber bullying he encounters daily.

Related: Man Clearly Yelling Gibberish During Sing-along Part

“RAH RU RAT RA RU RA RA,” Rick said, continuing, “RU RA RA RU RA RA RU,” before succinctly concluding, “EVERYBODY!”

Satisfied with his vocalization, the scientists lured Rick to a computer to show his ability to use a keyboard.

“Lol. hxc. oi,” Rick typed, before being given a treat by Goodall.

Lol. Hxc. Oi. Rick ta Life

The scientists aren’t the only ones paying close attention to Rick.

“Yo, fuck that guy,” one kid, who has never heard 25 ta Life but enjoys following This is Hardcore on Facebooksaid. “I heard he illegally traffics liquor in direct violation of legislative restrictions on its manufacture, sale or transportation. That’s so fucked up.”

Article by Ben Poole. Photo provided by Chris Bavaria @ChrisBavaria and The Hard Times Staff @REALpunknews.

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