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Dad’s Band Still on PureVolume

MARLBORO, N.J. — Siblings Liam and Jenna Fry were stunned last night to find that their father’s old band, A Jet Black Static, still had a page on PureVolume, a music streaming website neither had heard of before, the confused children confirmed.

Liam, 12, and his 10-year-old sister, Jenna, made the discovery after asking their father what he did before he ‘got old.’ A Google search revealed the band’s profile, technically still active despite no updates since 2004.

“We thought it’d be cool to learn about Dad’s band, but when we saw the page, it wasn’t really cool at all,” said Liam, pointing to the profile picture of all five members, including his father, wearing matching black vests in a field. “It was so bad, I started going to bed early, because I don’t want him to ask me about it.”

“The genre was ‘metal/hardcore,’ but it wasn’t like metal,” Jenna added. “Sometimes it was, like, really whiny, and then someone would start screeching. I hope none of my friends find out.”

A Jet Black Static counts 325 fans on PureVolume, with 2,467 total plays in the 14 years the band has had a profile. They remain unsigned.

“It’s like it isn’t even our dad. Our dad is actually kind of cool, but this is so lame,” Jenna said while her brother read the band’s description, which claimed “A Jet Black Static are the ‘hEaRt Of ThE cEnTrAl Nj MeTalCoRe ScEnE.’”

“They named their EP ‘High on Heartbreak,’ Liam said, laughing. “What fucking dorks.”

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Brian Fry, the children’s father, reminisced about his glory days after seeing A Jet Black Static’s PureVolume profile in the family computer’s search history. He later allegedly texted his old bandmates about a possible weekend jam session.

“Those were wild times, playing in basements all over New Brunswick,” said Mr. Fry. “We were all crazy kids. I definitely sometimes wonder what could’ve been. We really were good, you know? Bet those kids would fucking love having a rockstar dad. Maybe someday I’ll show them the tape of me owning the pit at a From Autumn to Ashes show.”

Despite his reservations about his Dad’s band’s image, sound, and aesthetic, Liam claimed he’s glad he found the long-lost relic.

“When Dad said he was in a band, I was worried he gave up on his dreams because of me. But now I know I saved him,” said Liam. “I just hope all that black hair dye is what made him go bald, and not genetics.”

Photo by Senny Mau @SimplySenny.