Ceremony Thinks You Were Better in 2006, Too

ROHNERT PARK, Calif. – Management of the Moxie Java Café called local police early Friday morning when Ross Farrar, vocalist of the band Ceremony, grew violent after reading a Youtube comment claiming his band was “better in 2006.”

Eyewitnesses report Farrar had been quietly enjoying a latte when he read the comment on his phone, sparking a chair-flipping, cup-stomping, phone-throwing rage until the police arrived.

“I can totally understand how he could be upset,” said one sympathetic witness, who requested anonymity. “They really put themselves out there on that record. Tried something new,” the witness added.

The comment in question, believed to be left below the music video for “Your Life In France” by former fan Cliff Greyer, claims Ceremony “…were so much better in ‘06, so much leaner and harder. They need to go back to powerviolence.”

“That asshole really thinks [we should go back to powerviolence]?” Farrar asked after police left. “Maybe he should go back to 2006 when he used to hit Power Fitness more often. Work off some of those rolls before you accuse someone of not being ‘lean and hard’ anymore,” he said with a wry smile.

When asked how he knows the commenter was overweight, Farrar replied, “Oh, you can tell.”

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“People think we haven’t heard this all before,” said guitarist Anthony Anzaldo when reached for comment. “Like, I remember when we were young – we weren’t always trying to be a powerviolence band. We’re not changing our ways. We’re just taking different roads.”

He added, “Someone came up to me just the other day, like, ‘Dude! Remember that funny novelty MySpace you had for your hair?’ And I’m like, ‘Dude, do you even hear yourself?’ Is this what qualifies for nostalgia? Where will it end?”

Anzaldo declined further comment after being told he had already quoted Joy Division three times.

Article by Jeremy Hammond @jeremythunderPhoto by Matt Gill @matthewphilipgill

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