For more than half my life I’ve been deeply entrenched with The Children of Everlasting Bliss. I no longer have any sense of personal identity and can barely remember any of my family members from my past, but I don’t care. I am one with my spiritual family now. My life with The Children of Everlasting Bliss has been great for me until the other day when I had a terrifying realization.
I think I’m the ugly one.
I felt like that might mean more than I thought at first. Then it really hit me.
It hit me like the spirit running through my body the day Almighty Thomas chose me to be his spirit ambassador.
Whenever we share our nights of ritualistic sexworship, all my wives scurry to fuck Thomas and the other men while barely anyone ascends to elevated ecstasy with me. Even when I wear my best casual white pants and white button down with my nice flip flops, I can’t get half the attention Brother Dan gets.
At dinner time no one touches whatever I bring. I made spectacular red cabbage last night and Sister Catherine was the only one to nourish herself on my offering (and we all know she’s the uggo in the family). Is it because I am hideous too? Is red cabbage an ugly food?
Sometimes I wonder what Almighty Thomas ever even saw in me to begin with.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but I haven’t even been chosen as a sacrificial offering yet. I used to get excited about the potential honor of being Almighty Thomas’ sex slave to be sacrificed and cut limb from limb to honor our gospel. But now I barely even think about being chosen to die for Almighty Thomas, I guess I’m not pretty enough to appease the Opossum Gods.
I just hope that one day I can at least find my place even if I am doomed to be the ugly one. Almighty Thomas give me strength.
Have you been brainwashed into joining a sex cult and worry that you’re the ugliest member? Let us know in the comments below!
Article by Dan Luberto @TheDanLuberto