Press "Enter" to skip to content

Not Proud of It: I Survived Being Broke by Eating My Air Jordan Collection

The first time I laid my eyes on a pair of Bred Jordan 1’s I was in love. Since that day I’ve been hooked. Collecting Jordans was all fun and games when I was a kid, but as I got older and my responsibilities changed, my thirst for the latest drop didn’t. When you’re an OG sneakerhead like me, living paycheck to paycheck on minimum wage, the struggle is real.

I’m not proud to say it, but the only way I survived being broke was by eating my beloved Air Jordan collection.

I never thought it would come to this, but when I got laid off from my job at Arby’s the same week the Space Jam 11s dropped, what choice did I have? I didn’t have money to pay my rent, cop these fire 11s, and feed myself. I did what I had to do and I ate my beater pair of Jordan 2s. It was a small price to pay to be able to stunt on all my homies in these Space Jams. I told myself eating my sneakers was going to be a one time thing — I wish it had been.

I’ve had trouble finding work, but I never have trouble finding the hooks for the rarest of Airs. When my homie down at Footlocker told me he could get me a pair of OVO 10s for only $375 what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t pass up this golden cop. I could also feel the hunger pangs stabbing my insides. I got so hungry I did something I’m ashamed of to this day, I ate my pair of Bred 1s. The shoe that started it all for me and I had to throw those hot joints on the fucking bbq just to feed myself. Huge L.

Related: The Five Stages of Accepting Your T-Shirt Size

I managed my habit this way for years, always paying my rent, always copping the hottest new Jordans, and always being forced to feed on dry, flavorless, leather and rubber. It sounds sick, but I was comfortable with my routine. Then something terrible happened.

I’ve never been an Adidas guy, always a true Nike Airhead, but that all changed overnight because of one word: YEEZY. I just spent $1,600 on the Zebra 350s. I lost my apartment and I’m now living in a makeshift sneaker fort in front of Footlocker. I may have survived being broke by eating my Jordans, but now I survive on the streets. I fear what my life will look like when the Beluga 350s drop. Pray for me, Yeezus.

What sneakers would you eat to own a pair of Yeezys? Let us know in the comments below!

Photo by Sam Mosalli.