I’m the Guy That Freaks out When You Accidentally Bump Him at a Show: Don’t Fucking AMA

Hi everybody, allow me introduce myself. I’m the guy at every hardcore show who freaks out if you bump into him. So DON’T FUCKING ASK ME ANYTHING!

Do I look approachable? Sure. Am I at a hardcore show where people bump into each other all the time? Absolutely. But don’t fucking ask me about any of that.

The only question you need to ask me is how fast will I kick you in the head if you accidentally bump into me. But don’t you dare ask because that will also cause me to fly into a rage since I have no control over my emotions.

It’s amazing how self-righteous I am for someone who violates literally everyone else’s space at all times. Speaking of which, don’t bump into my girl or my friends either. Look, I don’t care what you do to me, but you do NOT bump into my friends. Or me. Because I will FREAK the fuck OUT.

Seriously, if you bump into me there will only be two hits. Me hitting you and me hitting everyone around you too because fuck you.

Related: 9 Ways Glenn Danzig Could Kill You Before You Even Knew What Happened

Ask me if I care. No, wait, don’t fucking ask me that. Maybe I shouldn’t ask so many rhetorical questions. Do I ask too many? No self, you don’t fucking ask me anything either. I will punch me in the face if I ask me one more question.

Why am I so mad? Shut up. Do I miss my dad? Fuck you! Is this whole hardcore tough guy thing just a shell to mask my insecurities because the truth is I wish I never quit doing theater? I’ll kill you!!

Oh thank God, the breakdown’s coming up. Punching and kicking people helps me not think.

Article by Eric Navarro @erictries2hard


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