Honey, Say Hello to the Boutique Overdrive Pedal That’s Gonna Save Our Marriage

Remember what you said about us needing more transparency? Well I just added about $350 of it, plus tax. Seriously, babe, when I kick this pedal on, it’s like it’s not even on — I mean I can feel it’s on, but that’s it. It’s that good.

I wouldn’t worry about the financial hit. In fact, it’s more of an opportunity when you think about it. First off, you said we were in a rough patch but this thing has so many inputs we can use any patch you like! Plus, and I don’t mean to speculate too much here, but I seriously doubt we’ll be paying for that useless marriage counselor much longer.

This is about so much more than me following my tonal dreams. It’s about us following my tonal dreams. And I absolutely include our twin daughters in that statement. I want them to know how sweet a true vintage germanium diode can sound when driving with the right tube amp. I don’t think I should settle for the butchered circuitry you see on the shelves at Guitar Center these days. Do you think the girls should have to settle for less in their lives? I sure don’t.

Related: Mandela Effect: My Wife Says She Doesn’t Remember Ever Loving Me

 

That said, I will admit that you were right when you said I’ve been selfish with the band lately. And you’re right. I have been hogging way too much of the equalization band, particularly the lower mid-range — but that all changes now. This thing is hand-wired to basically act like a preamp, so I can leave it on and it’s gonna create a frequency range that creates space for everyone to be heard. Just like you asked for.

I think this pedal is really gonna reignite things in the bedroom for us, too. This thing sounds great even when I play it whisper quiet, so now you won’t even have to kick me out when I practice while you’re trying to sleep! Not that you’re gonna want to sleep when you hear these cristal clear tones. This is gonna be great!

Hard Times merch also fixes marriages. Or destroys them. I forget which one:

Article by Liam Hart @NiceGuyGreatGuy


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