Death is an inevitability, but too often we view celebrities and musicians as immortal beings, refusing to believe they will pass on. So, we compiled a list of five definitive signs that your favorite musician has kicked the bucket.
1. You wake up to a series of stirring tributes from your friends on social media.
This seems to be more and more common. Your favorite musician has died, but you slept in and are the last to know. If all of your friends have posted YouTube clips of their favorite songs with long posts about how much they loved your favorite musician’s music, they’re probably dead. Just always remember, you enjoyed them more.
2. They haven’t been seen in public in quite some time.
Musicians need to be seen to stay relevant. They need to have an active social media presence and stay part of the discussion. So if they haven’t been seen in weeks and have stopped updating their various social media accounts there is a good chance they are dead.
3. They are no longer eating the food or drinking the water you provide them while they are chained in your basement.
Your favorite musician loves food and water, in fact, they live off of food and water. Without them regularly consuming those two things they are probably dead, or at least close. You might wanna go check their water bowl right now.
4. They have stopped screaming for help.
Over the years of touring and performing in front of large crowds your favorite musician has developed an unmistakable voice. If you can no longer hear that voice yelling from the basement and offering you money to let them go there is a chance you might have pushed this too far and they are now deceased. But be careful when you check on them, they might be playing possum.
5. Give them a sniff, does it smell like rotting flesh? They are probably dead.
The will to live varies from person to person. You may have thought your favorite musician could survive months in your unfinished basement with no natural light and extreme swings in temperature, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes musicians are coddled and are used to the finer things in life. So go ahead and give it the smell test. If they give off that unmistakable stench of death, they are probably going to need to be disposed of quietly in the night.
Do you have any tips for keeping your favorite musician alive while chained up in your basement? Let us know in the comments below!
Article by the Hard Style Staff @REALpunknews.
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