Redditor Furious

NEW YORK — Local redditor Steven Grossinger, 21, also known as u/gorlock95, was reportedly furious across multiple online arguments today according to sources close to him, as well as the various threads of angry comments left in his wake.

“I was so fucking mad, all I could think to do was scream,” said Grossinger to his friends after the incident. “So instead, I spent hours on Reddit arguing with strangers while sitting silently in my bedroom.”

Sources report that a switch seemingly flipped in Grossinger’s brain after a triple whammy of reading on r/hearthstone that there would be a new cosmetic skin available only to those at a certain event, someone on r/overwatch claiming to use Torbjörn for attack, and a brief mention on r/evilbuildings of President Donald Trump.

“Holy shit this guy went fucking nuts,” said r/subredditdrama user u/vonkraush92 in a gilded post. “The last time I saw someone on Reddit get so upset, it was a whole three minutes ago.”

“Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger!” the user added half an hour later.

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According to expert psychologists, Redditors becoming infuriated is a very common phenomenon that can be seen time and time again across various subreddits.

“Psychologist here!” announced one such expert, u/PM_ME_COOL_RICKS, who revealed later on they are actually a second year psychology student at SUNY Buffalo. “You guys probably have never heard of this but it’s commonly referred to as ‘Plato’s Allegory of the Cave’ and generally happens when our society tricks us into thinking we are actually living full lives but are actually trapped in a false reality created for us by those more powerful.”

The assertion was then peer reviewed and confirmed when another user replied saying “This.”

At press time, Grossinger was permanently banned from the site after defending himself against allegations of being furious, which moderators deemed “low effort self promotion.”

Article by Jeremy Kaplowitz @jeremysmiles

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