Punk Ventriloquist Doven’t Give a Vuck iv His Livs are Moving

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BOSTON — Punk ventriloquist Larry Tasker told an unimpressed crowd last night that he didn’t care for their negative assessment of his act performing between bands at a local basement show, according to sources in attendance.

“People really seemed turned off. It’s not about being the most talented ventriloquist — it’s about the energy and passion I bring to controlling a puppet,” said Tasker, following the dismal 25-minute set. “The message me and Little Woody Guthrie here are saying is what really matters.”

Tasker was booked between several politically outspoken punk rock bands to provide levity between acts. Promoter Lenny Craig realized, however, that it wasn’t his best idea.

“Look, doing comedy for a music crowd is always gonna be tough… as I imagine doing ventriloquism for any crowd would be,” said Craig. “But maybe, if you’re not ready for criticism, you don’t do the gig, though, ya know? He kept going on about how this show meant nothing to him, but then, like… why did you put that little leather jacket on your puppet?”

Despite a promising start to the set, the crowd quickly turned after a few minutes of poorly performed ventriloquism.


“The puppet had an agenda right from the start: calling us a bunch of ‘vat muvver vuckers’ and making fun of all the bands that already played,” said showgoer Teresa Hammil. “You figure the guy controlling him would try to play the straight man, but he seemed to agree with the puppet. The most insulting part wasn’t seeing his lips moving; it was the fact he thought we didn’t ‘get it.’”

Ending the set early, Tasker zipped Guthrie into a backpack adorned with pins and patches and stormed out of the basement venue. Ultimately, the show carried on, and while the reception to the performance was unfavorable overall, some witnesses claimed the act had some merit.

“I guess it was pretty cool he drank from that 40 oz. the whole time the doll yelled at us,” said one attendee.

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Article by Mark Roebuck @mark_roebuck. Photo by Kyle Erf @KyleErf.