Punk House Surprisingly Clean

PORTLAND, Ore. — A punk house inhabited by 16 self-described gutter punks and commonly referred to on flyers as “The Skidmark” is surprisingly clean, visitors say.

The house, located on NE Skidmore St., is a four-bedroom Victorian that has frequent ragers, bangers and living room shows. Despite all this, a local touring band could only describe the floor they slept on as “immaculate.”

“Listen, having fleas isn’t my definition of punk,” senior tenant Rick Hall said. “The chore wheel has really helped with keeping this place in order.”

Visitors to the house constantly marvel at the stainless carpets and walls that have all the electrical wiring intact.

“We keep a steady supply of wet wipes in the bathroom because sometimes regular toilet paper just doesn’t give you that ‘all clean’ feeling that helps you get through the day,” Hall said about the well-stocked bathroom.

Related: Pregnant Teen Looking to Turn This Punk House Into a Punk Home

Neighbors of the residence constantly complain of the underage drinking, bandanna-wearing dogs in the back yard and loud parties. The Skidmark residents understand the complaints, but countered that their neighbors don’t trim their hedges often enough.

“Yeah, sure, we have parties – but that’s not as disturbing as our neighborhood’s general disregard for topiary,” Hall said.

Article by The Hard Times Staff

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