APPLETON, Wisc. — Hot Topic co-workers, Brandy Graff and Dilan Hoffstedter, were “hella stoked” to welcome healthy twin boys conjoined by a single dreadlock, into…
NEW YORK — Former Pitchfork Editor Adam Rhodes admitted he was struggling in his new role reviewing cigars after his previous employer merged with GQ…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida’s state legislature is once again making waves nationwide after changing their official state bird from the Northern mockingbird to a parrot…
PITTSBURGH — Trailblazing tattoo artist, entrepreneur, and fourth-grade student, Sammy “Slugman” Sluggins opened up a discreet semi-permanent Sharpie-based tattoo shop in a tunnel located on…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Conservative voters immediately opted to burn books to warm up at the Iowa Caucus due to record low temperatures before considering…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Current occupants of notorious punk house Shitshow Chateau revealed that their resident pitbull Hammer is the only inhabitant that has not bitten…
WASHINGTON — The 2024 edition of the classic educational short film series “Schoolhouse Rock!” will contain a song dedicated to teaching children the importance of…
ST. CLOUD, Minn. — Audience members at pop-punk trio Little Rounders’ St. Cloud Room show this weekend all reported bouts of cute aggression, after drummer…
BOSTON – Local beer lover Ryan Kensington fleetingly experienced a sobering thought while in the midst of a bout of heavy drinking, but regrettably had…
LANSING, Mich. — Recently married couple Wendy and Patrick Clark are facing a fourth night without any sleep whatsoever after refusing medical assistance despite constant,…
MENDHAM TOWNSHIP, N.J. — The notoriously hardworking Chris Christie began preparing for his 2028 presidential election dropout announcement mere hours after revealing he had ended…
NEWARK, N.J. – Local officials are responding to reports of crowds sprinting towards their lovers through Newark Airport as Frou Frou’s “Let Go” plays over…
SACRAMENTO, Calif — Several Attendees of the Montgomery High School Class of ‘03 Reunion were left baffled when the night suddenly turned into a collection…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Republican hopefuls Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley are expected to make slavery a big topic for their debate tonight ahead of…