SEATTLE — Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos once again reclaimed the title of “World’s Richest Man” by pulling himself up from his bootstraps and working extra…
LOS ANGELES — Self-help book “Addicted to Success: Eight Habits of the Highly Motivated” reportedly watched helplessly today as its self-improvement lessons were completely ignored…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local 49-year-old Corey Nulf was a self-proclaimed feminist until anyone around mentions musician Courtney Love, confirmed sources who turned off “The People…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. – Local Dad Brayden Taylor recently decided to yank his two young boys from the Knoxville public school system and teach them from…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Hallmark Channel’s newest movie reportedly features a groundbreaking sex scene depicting 20 seconds of dry humping between the romantic leads which…
PITTSBURGH — Self-proclaimed audiophile Klein Drexel dismayed his longtime partner yesterday after getting himself stuck in the horn of his vintage Victrola yet again, sources…
WATERFORD TWP, Mich. — Presumed Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump’s campaign rallies are now limited to music by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and Norwegian solo…
NEW YORK — New York Times headliner editor Percy Howard patted himself on the back today after writing a headline describing Israeli soldiers opening fire…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Jeff Pierson is allegedly “frustrated beyond belief” after his recent autism diagnosis led friends and family to assume he unironically…
AUSTIN, Texas — Governor Greg Abbott deployed Texas National Guard troops to combat the rapidly spreading wildfires in the state’s Panhandle, according to his press…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local centrist Harris Miller revealed that he doesn’t care who wins the 2024 presidential election as long as each candidate has a…
ALBANY— Local man Rudy Foster is getting pretty loose with the term “docuseries” after using it to describe his favorite reality television show “90 Day…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Crust Punk Jonas “Spleege” Johnson was recently released from county jail after explaining to authorities he was only siphoning that gas…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Local cinephile Misty Fremonta started seeing a new guy as an excuse to rewatch her favorite films during the “courtship” process, sources…