First Person to Arrive at Show Unsuccessfully Attempts to Appear Busy on Phone

ORLEANS, Mass. – Employees of local punk venue The Juicebar looked on in confusion as one show patron inexplicably showed up hours before doors were scheduled to open, and comically failed to look busy on his phone as he awaited showtime.

With just venue employees, merch guys and a couple guitar techs setting up for Saturday’s show, ticket holder Nick Cascarella stood outside the venue by himself and, upon realizing he was the first patron there, immediately pulled out his phone in an effort to come across as busy. Sources say that Cascarella seemed confident that the charade was successful. However, other bystanders told a different story.

“I was loading in shirts when I noticed the dude, phone in hand, scratching his chin as if he was making some big decision or something,” merch guy Zack Martin said. “But I could immediately see that the screen was asking him to put in his password.”

Bartender Brittany Tomkin also was not convinced. “I glanced over at him silently cracking up, as if he was having a funny conversation with someone, and thought to myself ‘Why the hell is he here this early? There is a mall four blocks away. Just go hang out in the air conditioning there.’”

Related: Show Scheduled for 8:00 PM Starts at 10:00 AM Next Day

While Martin and Tomkin saw straight through the histrionics, sound guy Frank Marasco was a bit more gullible. “When I first showed up and was talking with Jimmy, the door guy, I’ll admit he had me fooled for a second. I was convinced he was sending a text or at least checking his email. I thought he must be the tour manager and he was getting shit in order, then I remembered the closest thing any of these bands have to a tour manager is their bass player.”

During the opening band’s set, it was reported that Cascarella was conspicuously absent. However, it was later confirmed that he was actually charging his phone on the only empty outlet behind a stack of chairs in the back of the room.

Article by Greg McGonagle. Photo by Gelyn Montanino.

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